March 3, 2011: Desert & Dreams

up early, like a bat out of hell. all i can think of is how the tile is fucked up in the bathroom. the remodel in the desert is never ending, will never be complete. either I'm too busy to come out here due to work, or I'm not working and am out here but don't have the cash flow to feel comfortable spending money to complete the job. ran out of glass tile right on the edge that you can see on the shower. it would really help if the handyman wasn't someone who shared my bed, and honestly just exchanged work for rent. but having the company outweighs being alone right now, and my poor self does love him, as difficult as he can be, and is 80% of the time.

A 2nd A.D. dream last night had me working on another project with brits, and 2nd A.D.'s who run around in spiked heels at the monitor, with their hair done up, and a lot of eye makeup on, whilst I do the actual work. Call sheet changes abounded in the dream, me going back and forth between basecamp & the set, and locking up noisy crew members in the meantime. Very symbolic, all the pomp & circumstance of the british A.D., looking pretty, while I grunge it out and do all the labor. I need to put that little pilot to bed, and look back on the last job, the reshoots I 1sted, that went amazingly well. Long overdue, long long overdue.

the biopsy came back negative for cancer, and the result is a 'disordered uterus' due to recurring cyst's. the treatment is a low dose birth control pill to get it all in tune again. it goes against everything i've struggled with to take it, but at the same time, I just want to feel normal again, regulated, and this will do it the doctor thinks. I can go off it again after a month or so, or maybe I won't. Don't know.